Nothing
Words just can't express
This desperate emptiness
Torturing my restless mind
Searching for what I will never find
Someday I will confess
My pathetic nothingness
07/2002
The saddest song
Telling stories of love and pain
Of hope forever lost in endless rain
Persistently whispering every lie
Echoing helpless cries until they die
Always repeating from the start
As it is written in my heart
11/2013
A poor play
Stumbled on stage during the dramatic act
Signed long ago the devil's pact
The bride is dying, all hope is lost
A culprit has been found
Just bow to the ground
And after the heavy curtain falls
Expect to face only empty halls
11/2013
Beautiful hell
Breathtaking it is to see
How beautiful this hell can be
Hate and pain hidden behind a smile
Dare to enjoy the poison for a while
Unbound cruelty is the master's art
Everyday it could rip you apart
09/2013
Black star
The blackest of all stars
Pulsating still though bearing countless scars
At the beginning of time hidden in the dark
Releasing not even the smallest spark
Bound in place by unseen straps
Consuming itself, nearing collapse
Fated to die but never to fall
In the end it shall swallow all
08/2013
Abschied
Gleich welchen Weg das Schicksal nimmt
Das Ende ist vorherbestimmt
Zuviel durchlebt
Genug gesehen
Hoffe, dass ihr mir vergebt
Muss nun endlich gehen
11/2009
Integrated personality
You try to accept
Change to adapt
Bury thoughts deep inside
Feelings you are forced to hide
You can't deny the truth
There is not much left to lose
06/2002
Morningstar
Born before all other
Bathed in love by his father
Destined to be the one
The first child of the sun
Unable to share that love
Defying the light from above
Into the deepest pit he fell
Now he is the master of hell
05/2002
Final
My thoughts never were that clear
Washed away all doubt and fear
Realizing that there is no other way
Only false hope could persuade me to stay
Spreading my arms as if I could fly
Knowing that I will finally die
04/2002
Dust
The cure for my life is apathy
Sooner or later only dust I shall be
02/2002
Last thoughts
I must rest to forget
What I am
What I will be
I am tired of searching for answers
Visions of past and future
Silently my mind fades into nothingness
Maybe I will sleep forever
04/2001
Nonexistence
I am not writing this,
you are not reading.
You will not follow down
the paths I am leading.
And we will never know
what could have happened,
if you were reading this,
right to the end.
by Patrick Alexander
Lifeless
Nothing to give
No reason to live
No one asked if I wanted to be
Never chose this life of misery
Cannot prevent to lose
The few things I didn't refuse
What truths are there to obtain
In the end only lies remain
Everyday anew to face
Despair defines the human race
Bound to fate
Destined to hate
Bitterness fills my mind
I pity the human kind
I often wonder why
I'm too afraid to die
09/1999
Free Will
If the mind could decide about life or death
of the own body anytime, without physical impact...
Who would still bealive?
Vain
It's bootless to try
Senseless to cry
It's useless to say
Futile anyway
03/2003
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow;
a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot,
full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
W. Shakespeare
Dying passion
I carried these burdens far too long
Now just one last time I must be strong
To where all life began I shall return
In thy passionate fire I will burn
04/2003
Life
Resisted in vain
Feel the pain
Play pitch and toss
A constant fear of loss
Struggle all the time
Kill for a dime
On nothing you can depend
Abandon it all in the end
07/2003
Alternative
Perpetually you must decide
The fate one shall abide
That which I choose... can't be undone
What I lose... might be forever gone
Not knowing what would have been instead
I will never live without regret
09/2003
Hatred
Emerging crimson sin
Arising from within
Obliterating flame
Impossible to tame
Nurtured by distress
Growing through regress
01/2004
Forlorn
Irrelevant what he sought
Desperately he fought
Only emptiness he felt
In solitude he dwelt
Silently he cried
Quietly he died
02/2004
Diluvian
There is no place to hide
To escape this raging tide
It has grown tall
Will swallow all
It shall drown the human kin
As punishment for every sin
09/2004
Vicious circle
This familiar scenery
I know it all too well
Another fateful tragedy
The outcome easy to foretell
Too often I felt the pain
Everything repeats again
11/2004
Decay
My mind is petrified
As all my hope has died
Dwelling grim and dire
Just waiting to expire
Perhaps I am forgotten
Before my flesh is rotten
03/2005
Grief description
They walk
They talk
They even smile
And enjoy themselves for awhile
They just cannot accept
They soon will be dead
03/2005
Die letzte Träne
Geboren durch des Daseins Leid
Angefüllt mit Bitterkeit
Als ob der Abgrund ihren Namen riefe
Fällt die letzte Träne in die Tiefe
04/2006
BE THANKFUL
FOR EVERYTHING
FOR SOON
THERE WILL
BE NOTHING
28 Days Later
Todt.
Mir ist, als wär der Himmel leer,
Die Erde nur ein weites Grab,
Und jeder Stern rings ausgeglüht,
Dem Herzen gleich, das Alles gab.
Und ich, das Grabmal meines Ich’s,
Steh’ öd’ und still und ganz allein;
Es braust der Wind, der Regen weint
Kalte Thränen auf kalten Stein.
Ada Christen - Lieder einer Verlorenen (1868)
I am
I am -- yet what I am, none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes;
They rise and vanish in oblivion's host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes:
And yet I am, and live -- like vapours toss't
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise --
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
Even the dearest, that I love the best
Are strange -- nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling, and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below -- above the vaulted sky.
John Clare